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Editors' Note: For constant readers who enjoyed previous installments of Kerry Healey's Diary (click here and here), we're pleased to present her Christmas greetings to all the common people, i.e. not clients or contributors, who don't rate a real card.
Dear Friends and Voters,
Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays!
It's a very special Christmas season here at the Healey estate and I think you know why! No, it's not Seany's $20 million bonus (it's a drop in the bucket compared to his stock ownership!), although that certainly doesn't hurt. It's that finally Gov. He Thinks He's So Smart and Handsome has finally admitted that he's not going to run for re-election, leaving the field clear for you-know-who. One guess: rhymes with Merry Feely!
Soon it will be mine, all mine
All those Romney aides who were so mean to me -- they're doing some major- league sucking up now. Well, Eric, you can just pound sand if you think that you're going to be in the Healey Administration! Not!
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I mean, who's going to stop me now? Seany's already said that I can have $10 million for the campaign, although he told me that the million he had to pay back to the state for building his company's headquarters in a depressed area of Pride's Crossing was a down payment. Fair enough!
The Democrats, they're just a big fat joke! They've got this weird-looking Irish guy who lives by himself in an apartment in Watertown (wherever that is) and a very sincere Negro whom I'm sure is a credit to his race and all that but this is Massachusetts! I mean if Deval Patrick tried to move to Pride's Crossing who knows what might happen? Not that I would mind. Some of my best friends are blacks. Like that girl who lived down the hall from me in Lowell House -- she was black and I had lunch with her once. I think.
So anyway now all these reporters who blew me off when I begged them to cover my town meeting on drainage issues in Wilbraham are calling me all the time! And the TV cameras -- I have to get a whole new wardrobe! Also new highlights.
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I'm a little worried though with all of the TV stations moving to HD. I mean my 50-inch plasma (well, really, Sean's, because he's always sitting in front of it drinking Scotch and watching the Patriots, but I love him just the same!) shows a lot of little details. Poor Natalie Jacobson: on HD she looks, like, mummified. So I'm thinking I'd better get a little tuck, at least around the eyes, if I'm going to survive the rigors of a long campaign. Or maybe Botox after I get back from Caneel?
Well, I have to go -- another interview! I think I'll wear the 3-inch heels. Seany doesn't like it when I tower over him, but I love looking down on those weenie newspaper reporters!
Yes, it's shaping up to be a really Kerry -- I mean Merry -- Christmas! And you can bet I'm looking forward to a Happy New Year!
Oh, and I hope that you'll have a good holiday too and you can afford to pay for heating oil and private school tuition and property taxes and stuff like that.
♡♡♡♡ and Kisses,
Your next Gov., Kerry Healey!
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Volume CCXXXV, Number 108 December 22, 2005
