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Editors' Note: Every so often we get a dispatch from the planet Zontar, a planet of the Remulac galaxy millions of light years from Earth, yet, in some respects, oddly similar. This week, for a change of pace, instead of the news from Zontar, we present an editorial from one of Zontar's leading newspapers.
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The Massachusetts Spy is made possible by a generous grant from ConAmerican World Airways.
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Thanks to recent decisions of the U.S. Department of Transportation, ConAmerican is pleased to introduce its new Crypto-Saver Fares! |
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Sample Fares |
Each Way |
Notes: |
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New York to London |
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$109 |
1,2,3,7 |
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Los Angeles to Paris |
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$129 |
2,3,7 |
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Chicago to Tokyo |
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$149 |
3,6,8 |
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Boston to Miami |
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$89 |
1,5,8 |
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Washington to Houston |
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$69 |
1,4,5 |
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Additional fare information: 1. Does not include $69 each way fuel charge.2. Does not include $79 per leg chair charge. 3. Does not include $159 charge to deal with foreigners who talk funny. 4. Does not include $99 required contribution to Tom DeLay Legal Defense Fund. 5. Copilot fee of $50 each way extra. 6. Plus $150 surcharge for crossing the International Date Line, which requires crew to reset their watches. 7. Does not include $69 espresso charge to sober up captain after wild night. 8. Excludes $29 charge for pretzels. |
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ConAmerican World Airways |
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Something incomprehensible in the air |
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