The Spy's Endorsements for the Forthcoming Election Are Set Out Below   

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Volume CXLVI      October 30, 1916      Worcester, Mass.      Price Two Cents

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GEN'L HAIG ASSURES BRITONS
  ALLIES ARE WINNING THE WAR

Admits to Frustration But Finds Many Hopeful    Signs Despite Continuing Deadlock in the West

By Geoffrey Dawson
London Correspondent

Eager to reassure a British public increasingly concerned over the continued resistance of the German Army along the Western Front despite the great success of the Somme offensive, General Sir Douglas Haig manfully took it upon himself to declare that the Allies were winning the war against German aggression and terrorism.

Despite the heavy burdens of his position as Chief of the Imperial War Staff, Sir Douglas told his fellow members of the Reform Club at a drinks party last night in London that there can be no doubt but that victory is assured if only Britons would be stalwart enough to stay the course.

"I admit to no small measure of frustration," Sir Douglas said, "that the bitter-enders of the Kaiser's army have not realized the hopelessness of their situation, but I can assure you that the Prussian Army is in its death throes."

Sir Douglas cited a number of statistics to support his claim that the Allies are winning the war on the Western Front.  "Last month, our fine artillerymen fired more than 500,000 poison gas canisters, whilst the Boche could only manage 350,000.  They cannot go on much longer!"

His whiskers quivering with anger, Sir Douglas said that his intelligence staff had received disturbing reports of German spies spreading defeatist talk in England. "All this loose talk about Britain bleeding itself white or losing over 95,000 men on the Somme is just defeatist jibber-jabber.  I won't stand for it."

He said that the British Army was constantly changing its tactics to confound their German adversary.  "For example, just last month, we started lobbing artillery shells directly in front our advancing troops, with gratifying results."

"We also have given the other ranks a rannikin of cream to accompany their pre-battle breakfast of tea and bacon and find that it gives them an extra dose of stamina and dash."

He told his clubmen that the alternative to victory was too horrible to contemplate. "Dare we leave the Hun to ravish the flower of Belgian womanhood? If we do, we will have only ourselves to blame when the Prussian brutes defile our own English women on our shores.  The stakes could not be higher."

The charismatic leader concluded his remarks with an exhortation that exemplified his optimism and indomitable will: "There is no doubt in my mind but that we must press on to ultimate victory. Only victory can rid the world once and for all of the plague of German expansionism and brutality and make Europe safe for peace and democracy."

General Haig's remarks were greeted with thunderous applause and shouts of huzzah by his audience, which included many members of his General Staff. These splendid lads, recruited from the finest families in the kingdom, demonstrated their support for their leader with a standing ovation.

After the speeches, the assembled officers were treated to a nine-course banquet in fair recompense for their efforts on behalf of England. Adjutant General G. W. Bush, the Eighth Baronet of Crawford, told this correspondent, after instructing him to fetch his car, that he was so overcome by patriotic fervor he would need to adjourn to a friend's flat on Baker Street to obtain a dose of what he called "an exotic South American elixir of relaxation."

Asked to describe his role in leading the British Army to victory, the baronet said curtly, "You'll have to take that up with my man Cheyney."

IT IS THE CIVIC DUTY OF ALL MEN TO VOTE ELECTION DAY!