"Rabbi" Yisrael [sic] David Weiss

You may not be as scared as we are about a nuclear-armed Iran, but for sheer retch factor, it was hard to beat the Holocaust denial conference put on by impresario and Prime Minister Ahmed Airtie [why should we give him any more free publicity? – Ed.] Or it was until a few freaks from the nutty Neturei Karta stream of haredi Hasidim left their cult compound in Rockland County to suck face with the Prime Minister in Teheran. The NK's, together with some other almost as bonkers Hasids (like the batting Satmar), believe that the State of Israel is an abomination in the eyes of YHVH, whom they feel they have special insights into because the Almighty likes their funny hats. The pilgrimage didn't play to great reviews even among the ultra-Orthodox: one of Rabbi Weiss's fellow attendees and kissers was promptly divorced by his wife for his make-out session. For allowing themselves to be used as props in one of the dangerous anti-Semitic vaudeville acts currently on the boards, Rabbi Weiss and his fellow hatbox-wearers richly deserve their 2006 Golden Calf.

Moshe the Ripper Katsav

Among the many burdens placed on Israelis is a political culture so corrupt it makes Chicago aldermen and Louisiana judges green with envy. Self-dealing, government contracts for the minister's kiddos (hello, runner-up Omri Sharon!) and outright bribery are old news in Jerusalem (actually, to readers of I Kings, very old news.).   Israel's current President and Head of State, long-time Likud wardheeler Moshe Katsav, has taken a decisive step beyond such penny-ante crime, having been told he's about to be indicted on four, count 'em, four counts of rape. According to Katsav, each of the four victims is lying, although no other figure in Israeli public life is beset by similar false accusations of sexual violence. Therefore, with a level of brass that would have impressed 2005 Golden Calf Winner Jack Abramoff, Katsav has refused to resign until he is dragged out of his office in handcuffs. Good thing that Israel doesn't need to burnish its public image in the world at this time! Thanks, Moshe, for all you've done for the Jewish State and here's hoping that they let you hold on to your Golden Calf in chokey.

Ex-Sen. George Allen

No one was more surprised than us (unless it was Allen himself) at the revelation that the foul-mouthed, wife- beating, hard-drinking, noose-toting junior Senator of the great Confederate state of Virginia was in fact one of the chosen people but even a rov as frum as Reb Weiss (see above) would have to reach that conclusion. For his general white-trash deportment he'd richly deserve his Golden Calf, but for reacting to the charge of Jewish blood as if he had been accused of Satanic possession and by recounting all of the various pork products he had consumed in the previous 24 hours, he sets a new standard for the self-hating Jew. Perhaps now that he has been retired by the voters, he'll have time to reflect on whether it was really such a compliment when Granny Hall told him that he wasn't what she would call a real Jew.