Chapter 1: Call to Action

    Captain Horatio Hornblower, KCMG, Order of the Unbathed Garter, strode the poop-deck of his flagship, the 48-gun ship of the line HMS Irresolute, staring relentlessly at the swampy mouth of the Shatt al-Arab. His best woolen uniform itched something fierce in the heat of the Persian Gulf. But the plucky captain paid no heed, for his mind was on his mission. The Admiralty had ordered Irresolute to support the Yanks on patrol off Mesopotamia and keep the pesky Persians from interfering with the spread of British democracy and American culture.
    Although the battle-scarred captain was initially indignant at the prospect of serving under Yankee command, after the thrashing that Hornblower had administered to them when he commanded HMS Domitable off the Hampton Roads, Hornblower knew that orders were orders.  

   The Irresolute had been on station for two weeks without so much as a shot being fired.  It was bad for morale, Hornblower knew.
    His thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of Lt. Nobush, who had served with Hornblower during the Napoleonic Wars on HMS Vincible, HMS Unreliable and HMS Easily Fatigued.  "Begging the Captain's pardon, but we've sighted an unknown vessel two points off the starboard bow."
    Hornblower was comforted by Lt. Nobush's homely face, which reminded the captain of the nether parts of the sheep kept in the Irresolute's hold for fresh meat and the morale of the crew.  "Very well, Lt. Nobush, have the officers meet me in my quarters at two bells."
    "Aye aye, sir." Nobush ran off to assemble the wardroom.
    When the splendid young men had gathered in the Captain's cabin and been served a ration of rum by the Captain's loyal steward, Saddami, the Captain unfurled a chart and spoke with the easy air of command that he had earned from his years of sea battle. He pointed to a purple area off the coast of Mesopotamia. "The unknown vessel is within Mesopotamian waters, marked in indigo on this map. It is our duty to investigate." He addressed a fresh-faced Midshipman named Young-Bunns. "Mr. Midshipman Young-Bunns, if you please, take a party of sailors in the longboat and inspect the ship.  If you encounter hostile forces, send up a red flare."
    Lt. Nobush coughed in an effort to gain the Captain's attention, but Hornblower's blood was up. He dismissed the officers and watched the Midshipman cast off with a dozen sailors and two floggers in the longboat. He turned to Lt. Nobush. "Well done," the skipper said.
    "Begging the Captain's pardon, but the purple area on the chart was in fact a port wine stain made when your steward dropped the decanter," Lt. Nobush said.
    That meant danger, Hornblower told himself.   "Of course, the sailors brought their muskets and their two-pounder," the Captain said.
    "No such order was given," Lt. Nobush replied.
    Captain Hornblower, a man of few words and controlled deportment, watched the longboat recede in the distance. He put down the spyglass and said in his normal pithy manner, "Bugger all."
    At the Captain's command, Lt. Nobush ordered the Officer of the Deck to blow his whistle and bellow out at the ratings: "Bugger all. Captain's orders."
    Captain Hornblower placed a friendly hand on Lt. Nobush's shoulder.  "It was just a expression," he told the loyal lieutenant.

    [The boarding crew is taken captive by the wily Persians. Captain Hornblower and his officers debate the next move. – Ed.]

Chapter 6: Hornblower's Stratagem

    Captain Hornblower knew that he had to retrieve his captive crew or face the wrath of the Admiralty.  "We must get them back," he told his officers. 
    Lt. Nobush spoke up first. "Begging the Captain's pardon, but remember when we were on the old 16-gun Timorous and the landing party was taken captive at Santo Domingo? You led a raiding party to free the captives, destroyed the fort and captured the entire Spanish fleet at anchor. Why not try it again?"
    "Nobush, I have a different plan. Invite the Persian commander to a dinner on the Irresolute. I will parley with him and get our crew back without firing a shot. Saddami, take a note."
    The swarthy young steward tiptoed in with pen in hand. Captain Hornblower began to dictate. "Compliments to the Persian commander from his most obedient servant, Captain Horatio Hornblower of the Royal Navy. That should show the wog with whom he is dealing."

    [The note is dispatched to the Persian commander. After many days, a reply is received – Ed.]

Chapter 9: Fearful Tidings

    Captain Hornblower unfurled the parchment. "To the imperialist jackal Hornblower from General Manserch Ahneditbad," he read. "Your sailors are being well-treated. They have been given fresh fruits and vegetables and issued grey cotton suits. Our nurses are taking care of them."
    Hornblower threw the parchment down in digust. "The brutes," he said to Lt. Nobush. "Fresh food. Cotton clothes. The company of women. What will these heathen stoop to next?"
    "Of course, they have been denied their rations of bacon and rum," Lt. Nobush said.
    "The savages!" Hornblower ejaculated.

    [Gen. Ahneditbad attends several negotiating rounds with Captain Hornblower with little result. – Ed.]

Chapter 15: The Foe Submits

    Gen. Ahneditbad stared at the roast suckling pig facing him.  "More port with your pork?" Captain Hornblower offered, gesturing to Saddami.
    The enemy commander could take no further punishment from the Royal Navy. "Captain Hornblower, you are a hard man to deal with. I tell you what, I will give you your crew back if you give me something in return."
    "And what would that be?"
    The Persian general draped an arm around the delicate young steward.  "Your boy Saddami."
    It was a monstrous proposition, but Captain Hornblower realized that Saddami was after all a Paki. "Let's shake on it," the heroic British commander said.  [That's enough Hornblower – Literary Editor.]