By Sisyphus
Baseball Editor

By last October, you and I and the whole world knew that the Red Sox bullpen was running on fumes. But, like the team of World Champions they were, they had just enough left to dispatch the pesky Cleveland Indians and the not-so-pesky Colorado Rockies.

This year, with all but one of the Red Sox big guns locked and loaded, what's the only thing standing between the Sox and an October double-dip? Hint: it's not the hapless needle-jockeys of the South Bronx. It's that same bullpen.

Even with Curt Schilling's career in Mitt Romneyland, the Red Sox have plenty of starting arms. Beckett is anyone's idea of a Number 1 pitcher, Daddy-to-be Dice-man is in at No. 2 (at least until he does his Pedro Martinez imitation around Labor Day), the inspiring Jon Lester at No. 3, ageless Tim Wakefield [I wish I could say the same thing about that cliché – Copy Ed.] is No. 4 and maybe Clay Buchholz at No. 5. That starting rotation can stand up to any other in Major League Baseball, especially with the institution of random drug testing.

We're looking for big things from the offense this year. Manny Ramirez will be swinging the bat as if $150 million was riding on every hit, as indeed it is, although not in Boston. We'll say the real J.D. Drew showed up when it counted and will stay with the program this year. Jacoby Ellsbury is a lethal weapon both at the plate and on the bases. Big Papi – nothing more needs to be said.

Except that Julio Lugo is still a stiff.  

As for Coco Crisp, don't send him a Legal Sea Foods gift card because he'll never see the inside of Fenway again in a Boston uniform.

That leaves us where we started: with the bullpen. Papelbon, insanely underpaid at $775,000, will save 40 plus games, but he can't pitch two innings a night except during the World Series. By last September, the batters seemed to have broken the Okajima code, with results we haven't seen since the Battle of Midway.  

That leaves Mike Timlin, a standup guy but heck he's 63 years old [Is this right? – Sports Ed.]. We like Manny Delcarmen, but he's not the reliable iron man the Sox need for the seventh and eighth innings. The good news from the bullpen was that meatball tosser Eric Gagne doesn't need to start up home delivery of the Boston Glob.

But cheer up. Things could be worse: you could be stuck in Yankee Stadium. The old barn is scheduled to be knocked down as soon as the Yankees fail to make the playoffs. Look for Roger Clemens to be buried in the ruins, along with his reputation.

Like their stadium, the Yankees are ready for the wrecking ball. Andy Pettite will have to get by without the happy juice. Johnny Damon is cooked. A-Rod, having strutted his stuff up and down the MLB block and gotten no takers other than the eternally gullible Hank Steinbrenner, is back to make sure that the Pinstripers go nowhere, even if they manage to lurch into the post-season.

But all is not lost for New York baseball fans.  With Johan Santana ready to mow down clueless NL hitters, we'll bet that the Red Sox will face the pride of Queens Baseball in this year's Series. We can hardly wait for Pedro Martinez to tell Willie Randolph that he feels strong enough to pitch another inning.

The resulting spectacle of Randolph chucking Pedro's sorry ass into the dugout will be the icing on the Red Sox's second consecutive championship cake. 

Then we can let poor Bill Buckner come back to Boston.

The Yankees' aging starters are beginning to look a little creaky.

On the hunt for new talent  PAIL O' MUCK PARK, Florida – Spring training for the World Champion Boston Red Sox is in full swing and that means only one thing. [A free Florida vacation for Shill? – Copy Ed.]  It's the goal of every true-blue baseball man: young talent.   Sure the geniuses in the Red Sox Front Office deserve all the credit in the world for bringing home a World Championship, not too mention showing their appreciation to the press corps laboring in the hot sun [What hot sun? He's sitting in the shade – Copy Ed.] by providing tall cool ones gratis for all nine innings. This year, though, Larry and Theo, or, as you would call them, Mr. Lucchino and Mr. Epstein, have outdone themselves by giving each member of the hard-working press corps eight Spring Training tickets so that their family and friends can enjoy the Grapefruit League action. If you'd like to take in a sold-out game, unless your name is Tiffany and you're the waitress at the Itchy Alligator on 41 south with the double D's, you can bid on seven sweet tickets on eBay. Hint: the Yankees game is already up to $750. Thanks, Sox! By the way, Tiffany, you could attend as ol' Shill's guest. But I digress [Doesn't he always? – Copy Ed.]  As I said, the key to a successful Spring Training is unearthing young talent. That's why I accompanied ace Sox scout Jesse Levis on his hunt for budding players.  We started around 6 p.m. at the Itchy Alligator but the talent there had been, shall we say, scouted numerous times? But a good scout knows where to sniff out the best prospects. Jesse's unerring instincts led us to the Food Court at the Palmetto Bug Outlet Mall in North Fort Meyers, where we met two impressive young specimens named Amber and Jasmine at the discount tattoo and piercing outlet.  I had to marvel at Levis's ability to impress the talent with his –   [That's really enough Shill –Ed.] Next week: Ace baseball columnist Shill Shamelessly surveys the veterans at the Itchy Alligator, temporarily without the scouting expertise of Jesse Levis.