Editors' Note: Is the longest Democratic Presidential nomination fight since 1912 finally coming to a close? The uninformed might ask the voters, but the politically savvy know that only pundits can decide this race.  We asked our own David Bloviator, The Best Political One-Man Team in the History of American Journalism®, to make the call from his campaign listening post at the National Press Club bar in Washington.

David Bloviator – The Best Political One-Man Team in the History of American Journalism^®– declares:

Time to take Hillary off
the grill – she's done

TMS: Tell us, Mr. Bloviator, in the wake of Barack Obama's big win in North Carolina and narrow defeat in Indiana, is this race over?

DB:  I've been in touch with sources close to the candidates and other of my peerless well-informed and highly-placed sources in Washington. 

TMS:  And what have they spoon-fed you?  

DB:  They have reached a consensus. 

TMS:  Yes, and what did they decide?

The Best Political One-Man Team in the History of American Journalism^® has now decided the 2008 Democratic Presidential race.

DB:  They decided I need another double Chivas.  Go up to the bar like a good lad, will you?  

TMS:  [returns]  Now can you tell us where the fight for the Democratic nomination stands?  

DB:  The matter has been decided. Barack Obama will be the Democratic nominee. 

TMS:  Are you comparing Hillary Clinton to a breakfast food?  

DB:  Yes I am.  

TMS:  Any particular one?

DB:  Toast.

TMS:  Where has she gone?

DB:  To her reward.

TMS:  What has she met?

DB:  Her maker. Or her match.  Either cliché is acceptable.

TMS:  What has happened to her bucket?

DB:  She has kicked it.

TMS:  But what effect will her victory in West Virginia have?

DB:  It will be for naught. She is an ex-parrot.

TMS:  How you can be so sure?  

DB: Have you been watching cable television or reading op-ed pages, man? Tim Russert says Obama has won. Mo Dowd. David Broder. The people have spoken. 

TMS:  What about the voters of California, New York, Ohio, Pennsylvania and Massachusetts? Didn't they say something different?

DB:  That's yesterday's news. That was an eternity ago.

TMS:  Aren't these the states the Democratic nominee must carry to win?  

DB:  Are you deaf, lad? Elvis has left the stadium. The fat lady has sung. There's no tomorrow.  What part of the word "dead" are you having trouble with?  

TMS:  I'm just a little surprised that the results of two states the Democrats will never win have proven to be decisive.  

DB:  That's because you don't understand what has dawned.  

TMS:  And that would be?

DB:  A new day in American politics. The country is ready to move beyond.

TMS:  Beyond what?

DB:  The partisanship and gridlock of the past.  That's what Obama understands. 

TMS:  But the Republicans intend to throw the same partisan mud at Obama. Already's they've said he's not a patriot because he doesn't wear a plastic flag pin every day and that he's Hamas's choice for President. Not to mention that his pastor is a whack job.

DB:  But John McCain is too honorable to sink to such depths.  

TMS:  Actually, he said that voters should consider Hamas's statement of support for Obama although he and Obama have the same position on negotiating with Hamas.  

DB:  You can't keep him from speaking his mind. 

TMS:  Can you keep him from trying to unseat one of his critics from the Federal Election Commission?

DB:  There's not a shred of truth to that story.  

TMS:  Who told you that?  

DB:  I never reveal my sources. If I did, Karl Rove would no longer confide in me.  

TMS:  Thank you, Mr. Bloviator.