The Massachusetts Spy May 2008 Appeasement through the ages

Volume CCXXXVIII, Number 205 May 21, 2008

Editors' Note: Recent warnings from cosmopolitan history buff George W. "Bring 'em On" Bush about the dangers of appeasement rang a distant bell with some of the buyout bait on the copy desk. We sent Nollie Tangere '03 down to the morgue and she came back with these past warnings about this perennial evil.

	May 31, 1986
Volume CCXVI Worcester, Massachusetts 35 cents

Reagan says "some Democrats" want to appease Nicaraguan Reds

May 31, 1986

By David Bloviator
White House Correspondent

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Faced by dwindling support for his policy of arming the Nicaraguan contra rebels and increasingly credible claims of war crimes committed by the Contras, President Ronald W. Reagan today lashed out at critics of his Nicaraguan war.

"Some have said that we should negotiate with the Red Nicaraguan government and accept a Commie outpost just 600 miles from Harlingen, Texas," Reagan told a friendly crowd at the annual White Citizens Council Reunion and Gun Show in Philadelphia, Mississippi.

"That's the same misguided argument used by those who sought to appease Adolf Hitler. The reality is you can't negotiate with evil. You can only beat them.

Reagan went on to praise efforts by his National Security Adviser Robert McFarlane to enlist the Iranian Government in his efforts to arm the contras in the face of a Congressional ban on such aid.

In response, Democrats vowed to confront Reagan's anointed successor with a short, academic Northeastern Governor with no charisma or foreign policy experience.

Texas beachgoers frolic, safe in the knowledge that Ronald Reagan will never allow Nicaraguan Communists to spoil their innocent fun.

March 13, 1983

, 1983 Price 30 cents

Rumsfeld warns against
appeasing Iran during
his visit to Baghdad

By Henry Cabot Lodge
Diplomatic Editor

BAGHDAD, Iraq – Wrapping up a successful visit to Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld today toasted U.S.–Iraqi solidarity in the fight against "terrorist imams" in Iraq.

Speaking at a lavish banquet following a tour of battlefields where Iraqi forces vanquished Iranian-allied Kurdish women and children, Rumsfeld chided critics back home for failing to back U.S. aid to the Iraqi despot in his war of aggression against Iran.

"Some whiners back home say we should appease the Iranian terror masterminds just because Saddam Hussein is a strong leader. That was tried with Hitler too and it didn't work then," Rumsfeld said.

Rumsfeld went on to say that he had had "productive discussions" with the Iraqi dictator, whom he said "had a lot of good ideas about how to run a war that we could put to profitable use someday."

July 14, 1967

Rusk, McNamara Warn of "Appeasing" Red China

By Bella Whiner
City Staff

Seeking to whip up support for President Lyndon Johnson's increasingly unpopular Vietnam War, Defense Secretary Robert McNamara and Secretary of State Dean Rusk attended a pro-war rally and beer blast sponsored by the American Legion Sludge Falls Post 338.

McNamara told the well-lubricated WWII veterans that the war against international Communist terrorism was being fought on many fronts, not just Vietnam.

young patriotic girls These recent graduates of Old Sludgebury High School told the Spy they would never submit to the Red Chinese or unwashed anti-war protesters

"It is being fought not just in the Mekong Delta and the Central Highlands with guns and bullets and napalm. It is being fought wherever free men stand up for freedom and democracy, whether in Georgetown or on Martha's Vineyard, where I'm going as soon as I get out of this shi– uh, splendid patriotic event."

McNamara's remarks were interrupted by a noisy group of hairy hippies shouting "Get out now" and "Hell, No, We Won't Go."

"Those demonstrators would respond to Red aggression with the same appeasement that Neville Chamberlain tried at Munich. And we all know how that turned out."

After taking direct hits from the egg-throwing demonstrators, McNamara turned the mike over to his colleague, Dean Rusk, who warned the animated crowd that the American Way of Life was in grave danger.

"We cannot crawl on our bellies to Red China. Imagine what would happen to our country if a future U.S. President agreed to meet with the Chicoms without preconditions. It would be tantamount to surrender. Fortunately, I know that President Johnson would never bow to Mao," Rusk said.

After expressing his admiration for the brave young Americans who willingly take on the burdens and dangers of service in Vietnam rather than allowing their well-placed relatives to secure cushy National Guard postings for them stateside, Rusk thanked the crowd for not dousing him with hot pitch.

September 1, 1938

Kennedy Urges US
To Steer Clear of
A European War

Pushes for increased effort to appease Adolf Hitler

By Geoffrey Dawson
Diplomatic Editor
By Cable to The Massachusetts Spy

LONDON, England – Ambassador Joseph P. Kennedy, in a wide-ranging interview with the Spy, urged America to steer clear of any forthcoming war in Europe, stating it was "none of our business."

He expressed his admiration for the German Führer, saying that other European leaders could well emulate Hitler's vigorous leadership which has rebuilt Germany.

"I know we can appease Hitler. Why not talk to him and see what it would take to make him happy? I don't give a crap about Poland, and nobody I know does, either."

Amb. Kennedy dismissed reports of discrimination against German Jews, stating that such rumors were being spread by "pushy, aggressive" Red agitators.

"I've told Franklin that I'm not sacrificing any of my boys in some second world war," he declared.

At this point, our interview was brought to a close by the arrival of the Ambassador's masseuse, Trixie.

Close friend of Joe Kennedy
Amb. Kennedy seeks relief from the strains of international diplomacy by scheduling frequent sessions with his faithful masseuse, Trixie

You read it first in the Spy.

"Anyway, I'm proposing a new organization to spread the wonders of democracy and freedom through hot lead and cold steel, which I'm calling the Justice League of America," [McCain said.]

"This mighty force, comprising all the world's democratic superpowers and superheroes, will give those Islamofascists something to think about, you can bet on that!"

As his most recent trophy wife looked on adoringly, McCain said, "Imagine what that Mamoud Jimmy-Man and his fellow mullahs in Iran would think when they see not only the U.S. Air Force coming over the horizon, cannons blazing, but also our allies like Captain America and the Incredible Hulk."

– The Massachusetts Spy, April 4, 2008.

Jan. 1, 2013: President McCain celebrated the multitudinous achievements of his first four years in office with special friends in the White House. The tiny American contingent of troops still stationed in Iraq joined the festivities by satellite from a golf course in Baghdad, where they have been spending their time since the war was won.

Members of the League of Democracies opened the New Year’s ceremony with their pledge to “fight a never-ending battle for truth, justice and the small-d-democratic way.” Wearing their colorful terrorism-fighting costumes were French President Nicolas Sarkozy, now better known to the planet by his nom de guerre of Pâté Man, and Germany’s green-haired Angela (EcoGirl) Merkel, accompanied as always by her sidekick, Icy the Polar Bear. Silvio Berlusconi of Italy wore a business suit, but still wowed the crowd with his trademark power of shooting molten-gold bullion at his assailants.

– Gail Collins in The New York Times, May 17, 2008.