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        Volume CCXXXII, Number 24        August, 2002             

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It was one of those magical July nights on Martha's Vineyard that makes you forget that because your husband didn't get out of EMC at 60 you can't afford to set foot on the island unless the Spy is paying.   [We are? – Ed.]

I'm sitting on the back porch of Mary and Ted's lovely home nestled in the woods above Lucy Vincent Beach, enjoying a potluck supper "catered," if that is the word, by one of Mary and Ted's close friends and groundskeepers, Brunosia Schlepowitz.

Brunosia, who's lived year-round on the Vineyard since taking a semester off from NYU twenty-four years ago, knows just everyone worth knowing on the island. This year, to celebrate her many years of brown-nosing  [Surely, service to? – Ed.] the beautiful people on the Vineyard, she threw herself a potluck and invited her closest famous friends, each of whom was told to bring a favorite dish. Brunosia herself would contribute the Doritos and toothpicks and her famous herbal tea that Carly so often relies on to "calm down" after one of her "spells."

The table was festively garlanded with used paper plates and plastic cutlery collected by Brunosia on South Beach. "They weather so beautifully and it's so much better for the environment," she gushed.

And who knew that her rich, famous and beautiful friends were also gourmet cooks? Mary Steenburgen, drawing on her Arkansas roots, contributed her famous Muskrat Surprise. "The best thing about it, it's all natural, and it helps recycle Island wildlife," lectured Brunosia. After several bottles of quite acceptable Rhode Island merlot, Mary was induced to share her recipe with the Spy:

Mary Steenburgen's Muskrat Surprise

12 pounds muskrat roadkill
2 pounds okra
8 oz. Tabasco sauce
2 tbsp. molasses

Skin and gut the muskrats. With a hammer crack open the skulls and scoop out the brains. In a tub, mix the brains, okra, Tabasco and molasses. Serve cold on Ritz crackers. Infects 6-12.

Sadly, I was unable to sample Mary's handiwork so taken was I by another dish contributed by Carly Simon, who remains world famous on the Vineyard.

Carly Simon's Great Big Clam

Tell Brunosia to drive down to Larsen's and buy a couple of those huge surf clams. Then tell Brunosia to put them in a pot with some water, but not to cook them. Then she can take them out of the pot and put them on the table. Salt and pepper to taste.

As the candles burnt low and the guests polished off the last of the Rhode Island wine, the beer, the Old Mr. Boston brandy, the hash and the Ecstasy, the conversation turned to those who were not rich or clever enough to afford Vineyard real estate, but not for long. Instead the guests congratulated themselves for their beauty, purity and spiritual gifts and assured Carly that the cute guy from the Up-Island Texaco station would soon return from New Bedford to service her.

As I waited in line to board the Scumonchi for the trip home, I realized how magical Brunosia and her friends were, and how it beat working for a living.