Volume CCXXXII, Number
27 November, 2002
Page 4
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AMERICA
UNDER
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ANXIETY ATTACK |
BOSTON LANDLORD
FOILS AL-QAEDA
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Another blow for freedom, democracy and the American Way has been struck in Boston, where debt-ridden but plucky Don Chiofaro has foiled an al-Qaeda plot to destroy his beloved International Place. Chiofaro, well aware that the terrorists would seek to deal America a crushing blow by bringing down the famous Twin Tubes of International Place, neatly frustrated their evil scheme. His weapon? Chiofaro has instructed his highly-paid, or at least timely-paid, security guards not to admit any vehicle into the famous International Place garage unless they or their employer are forking over $40+/square foot rent. The former Harvard hockey sparkplug explained to the Spy: "These Arab terror guys, they're real smart. They would stuff a whole lot of explosives into a van or something, then park below International Place. They walk out, perhaps have a cappuccino or a light snack at one of International Place's famous lobby shops, admire the big pile of water that keeps falling in the middle of the atrium, and then – Boom! No more International Place." "Let me tell you just one thing, Mr. Terrorist. Take your van bombs somewhere else, because you won't get into my building!" Chiofaro said sternly. Reached in their remote mountain hideaways in the North-West Frontier Province, a mere 6,000 miles from the American forces massing to invade Iraq, the terrorists agreed that Chiofaro's bold move had set back their cause badly. Osama bin-Laden himself admitted ruefully: "International Place is the most prestigious Class A office tower in Boston. Blowing it up would have made quite a statement." His number 2 cutthroat, Qil al-Juwz, explained: "The building is in an ideal location, with breathtaking harbor views. The lobby is crafted with the finest Carrera marbles polished to a fare-thee-well. The stick-on Palladian windows practically shout prestige and class, as do its world-class tenants. For all these reasons, blowing it up with a car bomb parked in the garage would have been a major victory for our cause. Now I don't know what we'll do." On hearing of Chiofaro's master stroke, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said: "We need a lot more guys like Don. With guys like Don, plus invading and occupying Iraq, plus building anti-ballistic missiles, no one will lay a finger on us."
Former New York Mayor Rudolph Guiliani, reached at the Honeymoon Suite at Mexico City's exclusive La Chingada resort, said somewhat breathlessly: "Just imagine if everyone in America followed Don's lead. Our country would be invulnerable to terror attacks. Oh no, not the ice cubes, Jud–"
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Quick-thinking Don Chiofaro saved his beloved cylinders from terrorist assault |
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"BESIDES," MORGENTHAU ADDED, "THEY'RE JUST SCHVARTZEHS" |
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A sweeping re-investigation of the 1989 Central Park jogger attack, including new DNA tests and admissions from a murderer never suspected in the crime, has persuaded senior prosecutors and detectives in Manhattan that the convictions of five Harlem teenagers cannot stand, according to three officials involved in the inquiries. In an interview yesterday, the Manhattan district attorney, Robert M. Morgenthau, stressed that he had not yet made up his mind about the case but said that if the claims of the murderer, Matias Reyes, continued to hold up, he would go along with a request by defense lawyers to vacate the convictions. The jogger, a 28-year-old investment banker, was beaten, raped and left for dead in the park on a night when other runners and bicyclists were being attacked and robbed by bands of youths. "We always knew there was someone else out there, but I didn't expect this," Mr. Morgenthau said. "If the facts require us to consent, we're going to do that. We won't hesitate." The new inquiry, which began in January, will not be complete for at least another month, but the findings to date have essentially backed the account of Mr. Reyes, a serial rapist who says that he alone was responsible for the attack on the jogger, Mr. Morgenthau said in an interview. The man's story "hangs together pretty well," Mr. Morgenthau said. "He says, `I'm a monster.' If only we had DNA 13 years ago." Before he decides on what position his office will take, Mr. Morgenthau said he wanted to see the results of another round of DNA tests that were under way. He declined to say what other evidence was being tested. His office is still looking for witnesses and retired police officers from the original investigation. The district attorney said that the verdict might be set aside for legal reasons that had nothing to do with the guilt or innocence of the five convicted people. He noted that lawyers defending the teenagers did not know that a nearly identical crime had been committed two days earlier in the same area — information that could have helped in their defense. The attack involved a lone rapist, and Mr. Reyes said he was responsible for that as well. Although the prosecutors and detectives involved in the jogger case in 1989 and 1990 did not know about that rape either, the Police Department did have a record of it. "That could be a basis for setting aside the verdict," Mr. Morgenthau said. . . . .Mr. Morgenthau said that anyone who watched the videotapes could see that there was no coercion by Elizabeth Lederer, the assistant district attorney who asked the questions. Asked whether there had been pressure in the 20 hours or more before the cameras were turned on, Mr. Morgenthau said: "That's one of the things we're looking at. I don't think anyone's leaning too hard on them." [probably not, since they've been imprisoned for 12 years now for a crime they didn't commit – Ed.] . . . .Last January, Mr. Reyes told a prison guard that he wanted to talk about the Central Park attack, and an investigator from the state Department of Correction interviewed him. The information was turned over the district attorney's office in Manhattan, which arranged a DNA test of Mr. Reyes. In May, the results came back: Mr. Reyes's DNA matched semen collected from the jogger's body. Other DNA tests showed that the hair evidence did not, in fact, link the teenagers to the crime, as prosecutors had argued in the trials. In prison interviews, Mr. Reyes insisted to investigators that he alone had attacked the jogger, raped her and crushed her head. This was typical of his other crimes. Later, he retraced the crime for them in the park. "I think if anything is clear, it's that he was there," Mr. Morgenthau said. "We've got to make sure of the rest of his story — that `I did it alone.' " Mr. Morgenthau said that reopening the case had been difficult for the detectives and Ms. Lederer but that his office openly faced errors before. The district attorney said he had no worries about the results of the inquiry into the jogger case. If the investigation shows that the five men are not guilty or if it finds evidence that might have helped their defense, he will seek a new trial, he said. "Whatever it is, it is," Mr. Morgenthau said. – The New York Times, Oct. 12, 2002 |