Editors' Note: Every so often, we get a communication from the distant Zontar galaxy, millions of light years away. Although the bizarre doings of these strange aliens may seem unfathomable to us, yet some see a distant echo of life here on Planet Earth, minus the melting icebergs [OK either they get the setup by now or they don't – Ed.]

OBAMA'S TAX DIVE
BREAKS DC LOGJAM 

By David Bloviator
Political Editor

WASHINGTON, D.C. – GOP leaders have welcomed the Obama Administration's signal that it will agree to borrow another $70 billion a year to finance tax cuts to the richest 1% of Americans.

Republican leaders in the House and Senate both agree that Obama's gigantic concession on tax policy would usher in a new era of goodwill and compromise that has been sorely absent in this beleaguered capital. "We will certainly reciprocate by compromising with the President on a wide range of issues," said Senate Minority Leader Yertle the Turtle [Surely, Mitch McConnell? – Ed.]

McConnell said that in exchange for Obama's concession, Republicans would stop blocking scores of uncontroversial judicial nominees and move swiftly to ratify the New Start Treaty. "That treaty had been negotiated with the advice of Republican Senators every step of the way and there is no reason other than pure obstruction for holding it up," McConnell said.

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Republicans and Democrats celebrate the new spirit of cooperation in Washington following Obama's decision to extend the Bush rich man's tax cuts.

Other Republican Senate mandarins echoed McConnell's conciliatory words. Sen. John McCain said he would stop his hypocritical efforts to end gay discrimination in the military, but warned he would continue to fight for Early Bird Specials in the Senate Cafeteria.

Even extremists like Sen. Jim Demented [Surely, DeMint? – Ed.] welcomed Obama's concession and said it would improve the Capital Hill climate. DeMint said he and his fellow reactionaries would no long seek to block payment of unemployment benefits over the holiday season. "We have to meet the President halfway," DeMint said.  "He is after all the lawfully elected President of the United States.

His fellow whackjob Sen. Jim Imhofe said that Obama's tax climbdown would motivate him to stop spreading lies about human-caused global warming and to work with the Administration on dollar-based incentives to encourage lower carbon emissions. He even said that carbon fees were back on the table as long as lower-income Americans were protected from the effects of those fees. "It's only fair," Imhofe said.

On the other side of the Capitol, House Republicans were equally affected by Obama's decision to back their cherished tax cuts for the rich.  Speaker in Waiting and Bronze God John Boehner said that his caucus had agreed in exchange for the tax cuts to support an increase in the debt ceiling required by their own past votes and not to cripple health-care reform on the sly through unconstitutional appropriation riders.

Even bats**t crazy House Republicans like Michelle Bachmann said that President Obama's willingness to compromise would not go unrewarded. She said she would stop making crap up about Obama that her staff dug up from unsourced websites, and admitted that of course Obama's recent Asian trip cost nowhere near $200 million a day and in fact was no different from the kinds of trips that George W. Bush used to take, except that Obama would actually leave the plane.

Nor would reality show star Sarah Palin be outdone in contributing to the new Era of Good Feeling in Washington. Taking time off from flogging her latest ghostwritten potpourri of whoppers, she sat down with reporters from real newspapers like the New York Times and McClatchy. 

In a thoughtful wide-ranging interview, Grandma Palin called for expansionary monetary policy and an increase in the Fed's inflation targets. "We have to get enough dollars in the economy so that banks will loan them to small and mid-sized businesses," she explained, citing a recent column by Paul Krugman.

White House staffers could barely contain their pleasure at the news that Republican leaders were willing to meet in the middle across a wise range of critical issues. "We knew that we could do business with the GOP," said political genius David Axelrod. "All we had to do was take the first step."

Even Schlox News insult comics said that Obama's tax concession would force them to revise their judgment about the President. They admitted that they were taking orders from former Nixon mouthpiece and Schlox News supremo Roger Ailes, who said that Schlox gasbags could no longer refer to Obama or indeed any mainstream Democrat as either "Nazis" or "Kenyan terrorists."

Glenn Beck told his equally deranged audience that Obama's open-mindedness had caused him to re-evaluate the anti-Semitic scribblings of obscure Mormon heretics whom had quoted extensively and his depiction of the Progressive Era as a Dark Age of depravity.

Drug-addled ladies' man Rush Limbaugh said that while he admired the President for his willingness to compromise, he would still press Obama to reform what he called "America's reign of terror" with respect to control of prescription opioids.