| Stylized
Life SectionPublishers'
Note: Faithful readers will recall that as a result of
adverse economic
conditions caused by not giving tax cuts to the rich [Is this right? – Ed.],
the Spy
was forced to cut back by firing its entire Style staff
and replacing the section with
crap from the New York
Times.
However, as you can see, the rich variety of
cutting-edge
material from the style pages of the World's Greatest Newspaper speaks
directly to the lives of our humble readers right here in Old
Sludgebury, Mass. And if it doesn't, tough s**t. People We Know Recent
Graduates Essay the Literary Life by
Melandrina Frankel-Sulzberger
Special
to The New York Times At
first glance, if you were legally blind that is, it seemed like any
other literary gathering in any other eleven-room co-op on the Upper
West Side, but instead of depressed middle aged men with lank gray
locks
fringing their bald domes and bulky menopausal women in intimidating
caftans always telling their daughters how politically and socially
unaware they are, the crowd tonight was young and attractive,
especially Jeremy
Epstein-Grubman, former Assistant Arts Editor of the Harvard Crimson
whose withering take-down of the semiotics of The Simpsons caused
such a sensation
–[Get on with it, Melandrina. You only have
3,000 words – Ed.] As
the brilliant yet adorable recent college grads
sipped their parents' Burgundies and feasted on gluten-free pizza, they
each took their turns delivering their supposedly spontaneous aperçus
juxtaposing references to Derrida and Twilight while
pumping out
updates to each other on their Twitter feeds, fully aware that they
were the most clever and well-read generation in the history of the
Upper West Side, except for that skank Rachel Wasserstein-Peltz who
thinks she can just boink any guy she wants even though she only went
to Cornell which as far as I am concerned is hardly in the Ivy League
at
all – [That's about
enough Melandrina –
Ed.]  Manhattan's
young litterateurs
are as brilliant as they are picturesque.
|  | Living Upstairs ALISON
PORCHNIK
Senior
Managing Director, Porchnik Palatial Properties
Tenting tonight on the old
loft
grounds
My
clients, Fawn
Leibowitz, notable feminist and author of Barefoot but Not Pregnant: How
Women are Impoverished by Male-Dominated Society, Pennies for Poetry:
How Patriarchy Devalues Women's Creative Genius, and the
forthcoming I Can Have
It All, But You Can't: Making Marriage Pay Off Big Time,
and her husband, hedge-fund genius J. Claude Finagler, who
made billions going long on Uruguayan soybean futures while shorting
Daisuke Matsuzaka's earned run average, had just closed on their
stunning quadruple-mint 6,000 square foot loft penthouse overlooking
every body of water bordering Manhattan Island (and I have three more
just like it I can't wait to show you if you send me your last three
income tax – [Get on
with it, Alison – Ed.]), but Fawn wanted to
be true to her modest roots in Pound Ridge before she hit the mother
lode. As
Fawn explained: "We
wanted to express
solidarity with those opposing untrammeled greed and worthless
speculation on Wall Street, so we wanted to fill our loft with tents,
just like Zuccotti Park. Also we thought that our au pair
could sleep in one up on the roof deck, and she would have a
space she could call her own, just like her hut back in (continued on page 18.2 million)
It transforms the loft and gives the au pair the privacy she's always
wailing about
|
DINING
WITH
THE TIMES Sam
Specious GIGO
628
East 182nd St.
Bronx (Most recently)
Extraordinary
Location:
Moves every week according to the whim of the Chef and
availability of suitable raw materials.
Hours:
Dinners only, 11 p.m. to 2 a.m. Thursday - Saturday
Reservations:
If you have to ask, you can't have one.
Handicapped
accessibility: usually excellent, but some surfaces may be too rough
for wheelchairs
No credit cards, debit cards, or checks.
Swiss Francs or gold ingots only.
If
you're looking for GIGO here, you're sadly too late.
|  |
Adventurous,
sophisticated Manhattan
diners have been buzzing for at least six weeks about the "locavore"
revolution in dining, stressing the absolute importance of
locally-sourced foodstuffs in satisfying the delicate palates and even
more delicate sensibilities of, well, people like us. Thus
it should have come as no surprise that red-hot Chef Jonathan Swift,
fresh from his triumph on Top Chef
Rehab, would take the locovore movement to a whole
new level while responding to the perceived need for a less extravagant
dining style than the $300 per person prix fixe that
attracted throngs to his previous restaurant, Le Grotesquerie, in
Brooklyn's trendy "Down-Go" (Down Under the Gowanus Expressway)
neighborhood. According
to
Swift, the true urban
locavore should focus on the most abundant source of food in the city:
garbage. "Every night, tons of edible food waste are thrown
out. Thanks to my genius, I can turn rotten tomatoes and
pizza crusts into a culinary adventure." And Swift
was as good as his word. Appetizers including a galantine of
half-eaten Sabrett's hot dogs in their own rolls and a brilliant amuse-guele of
flavorful fish heads accompanied by salty pretzel fragments were
followed by some of Swift's feature dishes that transformed humdrum
half-eaten steaks and hamburgers into (continued on page 30-Tums)
|
Fashion
of The Times:
She'll
update her blog right after naptime
By Isabel
Rosenthal-Karan
Fashion Correspondent Manhattan's
hottest young fashion blogger has a problem: she's only got an hour to
blog after nap and before her playdate. For
the last six months, Sadie Leibowitz-Finagler, 6, has hurled her
fashion thunderbolts from her computer, located in a tent at the far
end of her parents' Tribeca loft. Acclaimed for her
impeccably original fashion sense, Sadie has influenced designers as
far afield as Jimmy Choo and Ralph Lipschitz with her bold fashion
choices, such as pairing patterned tights with an unmatched print
dress, or painting each fingernail a different vivid color and using
the remaining nail polish to draw "tattoos" on her arms and legs. "Sadie
has always had a sense of fashion since she was born," said her mother,
Fawn, calling in from her month-long Paris conference on combating
oppression of Afghan girls. "Even the way she would suck her
thumb showed true creative genius." "One
thing I admire about her," her mother said, "is her ability to borrow
clothes and accessories from our au pairs and make them positively her
own, whether it's a Guatemalan poncho, a Moldovan headdress, or a
bright bolt of Somalian cloth." As
Sadie herself put it in her most recent blog entry, "I like cloths.
They are prity (continued
on page 10001)
| | AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT FROM
EXECUTIVE EDITOR JILL ABRAMSON '76
I am
pleased to announce that
the Times'
web site, already the most heavily visited site in the world next to [Never mind, Jill
– Weekend Ed.], will be further enhanced by
transforming the comment section, currently a repository for the
mean-spirited ravings of the insane and the merely lost. Starting
today, anyone wishing to comment on
the site must not only pay for our peerless content but also be rated
according to criteria that we believe are likely to predict the value
of the comment. For example, if you graduated from the College, you get
ten points [We're
in – Spy Ed.] unless of course you were one
of the twerps I couldn't stand [Uh
oh – Spy Ed.]. Yale, Princeton, or
Columbia are worth eight points, while other Ivy League colleges, small
first tier colleges or Stanford count for six. If you have
published two or more books, you get another five points.
Of course, if you have been to dinner at my house then you
are in automatically. Other
criteria include number of advanced degrees, place of residence, and
whether you are a studio executive, literary agent, co-op sponsor,
college admissions director, or otherwise in a position to do something
for us. Also if you are the principal owner of a Mexican cellphone
monopoly you immediately qualify for "Gold" status as a commenter,
which entitles you to take your pick of [We get her drift
– Spy Ed.] |
| |
