Volume CCXXXIII, Number 38   October, 2003    Worcester, Massachusetts   Since 1770


Winner of the 2003 Lieberman Award for Making an Impact on American Politics

Editor's Note: Not much going on the world this month, so we thought we'd dredge up some irrelevant historical trivia from the archives of the Spy

Ol' Shill Sez: Monbo, Morehead will propel Sox to pennant

Another rotten spring

Cold, rainy, miserable, damp, wretched; tomorrow: fog, freezing rain, flooding possible

Still 10 cents

Price will rise to 20 cents effective June 1, due to inflation beyond our control

 

Volume CCI, Number 122   May 1, 1966    Worcester, Massachusetts   Since 1770

 

McNAMARA: U.S MUST BEAT GLOBAL
     TERRORISM IN VIETNAM, DESPITE COST

 

News Analysis:
Nation Has No Choice

By Henry Cabot Lodge
Diplomatic Correspondent

    White House sources have fanned across Washington this week, spreading the word that the war in Vietnam represents a choice between democracy and terrorism. "Are you pro-democracy or pro-terror? That's the question," said National Security Advisor McGeorge Bundy in a speech to the American Legion.

    Other Administration officials emphasize that the United States did not seek out this war. "We have no choice," said Vice President Hubert H. Humphrey at the dedication of 5,000 new gravesites at Arlington National Cemetery. "We did not seek to invade North Vietnam. Ho Chi Minh is trying to bring his Red terror to South Vietnam and the rest of Southeast Asia and we have no choice but to assist the people of South Vietnam."

    Key Senators were equally determined. Richard Russell of Georgia, Chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee told the annual meeting of the Capitol Hill Colored Bootblacks: "The war in Vietnam is a fight for freedom and dignity. Snap that cloth, boy, I want to see my face in those shoes."

 

Texas Politician's Son Victim of Sting by Negro Drug Dealers

By John Connolly
Police Beat


Upstanding Houston youth who was "set up" by Negro drug dealers

    The Houston Police have issued a formal letter of apology to George Bush, Jr., scion of the Texas political clan headed by his father, George Bush, Sr. The police stopped young George after spotting his car weaving from lane to lane on the Esso Freeway in the city's exclusive Refinery District.

    According to police reports just revised this morning by Bush family attorney James Baker, the police wrongly suspected Bush of driving under the influence. "Nothing could be further from the truth," intoned the highly-respected lawyer. "Bush was driving when a dark-complexioned Negro named Tyrone leapt into Bush's car from a passing vehicle. The impact of the leap caused the wheel to twist in young George's hands."

    After stopping the car, the police found approximately 2 pounds of a white powder that tested positive for methamphetamine and three open Lone Star beer bottles. According to Baker, the Negro drug dealer had left the bag in Bush's car and then fled from the vehicle when he saw the police lights. "He literally left my client holding the bag," Baker chortled. Asked about the beer bottles, Baker said, "They must have fallen out of Tyrone's pocket."

    In response, Houston's finest rounded up twice the usual number of Negroes and a few dozen Mexicans, "just to be on the safe side," explained Houston Police Chief Bubba Waters. Bush, said to be shaken by the ordeal, was unavailable for comment and "recuperating" at a friend's house in Acapulco.

By William R. Hearst
War Correspondent

     Admitting that victory in Vietnam will be neither quick nor cheap, Defense Secretary Robert S. McNamara today appealed to Americans to unite behond President Lyndon B. Johnson's effort to "roll back the tide of terrorism in Southeast Asia."

    "We did not choose this battle," said the brilliant Defense Secretary, "but we dare not fail. If we lose to Communist terror here, we will have to fight it at home."

     The Defense Secretary's comments come as new questions are being asked about what McNamara had predicted would be a "swift, brutal and decisive" victory in Iraq. Some critics have questioned the ongoing cost of the war in terms of American lives and treasure, while others wonder what McNamara's exit strategy is.

    McNamara brushed aside these questions at a Petagon briefing, calling them politically motivated and unpatriotic during wartime. He reminded his audience that we are fighting to keep South Vietnam free from the Communist yoke. "Ho Chi Minh is one of the most brutal dictators in the world. Are those who question our commitment to Vietnam willing to subjugate a free and independent country to the Red yoke?" he inquired.

    Pentagon insiders tell the Spy that they are increasingly confident that the South Vietnamese Army can shoulder an increasing amount of the combat burden. Said one well-placed general: "We expect that we will be able to turn over combat operations to the ARVN by 1968." But some on Capitol Hill wonder if those projections are too optimistic, citing reports that ARVN generals have made fortunes selling U.S.-supplied weaponry to the Viet Cong.

    McNamara, widely regarded as one of the smartest and most forceful Defense Secretaries in history, concluded his briefing with a series of questions that he asked and answered. "Am I content with the progress we have made? Absolutely not. Do I believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel? Without a doubt. Do I wish that we had abandoned our South Vietnamese ally? Not in the least. Do we have the will to stay the course? Yes, as long as we are not stabbed in the back by Nervous Nellies in Washington."

 


 





September 11, 2003: A nation mourns – John Ritter, pages 6 through 58
Will Ben Affleck stop sodomizing strippers and marry J.Lo? pages 58 through 269
Slaughter of millions of innocent civilians continues in Liberia, Congo, Rwanda, Uganda, page 270 [Sorry, due to space limitations that story will have to be run some other time maybe – Ed.]
Washed-up movie star wants to do to California state government what steroids did to his gonads, pages 271 thorugh 348



The Massachusetts Spy is made possible by a generous grant from the Save the Christians Federation


For only $1,000,000,000 a week, you can bring new hope to miserable beggars in Iraq.

Or you can turn the page, you callous frog.

pathetic beggar


Little George Bush is trapped in Iraq. No matter how hard he tries, he cannot escape the cycle of death, destruction and economic ruin that is the common fate of overextended empire builders.

But you can help.

For no more than the cost of 500 million packs of unfiltered cigarettes a week (or 1 billion liters of beer), you can help George Bush escape the trap he has set for himself.

Your weekly check for $1 billion will give new hope not only to George Bush but to his entire political family – Donnie Rumsfeld, Paulie Wolfowitz, Dickie Cheney, Tony Blair and many more like them. And each week George Bush or a member of his family will write you a personalized letter describing how your money is being used. Imagine how proud you'll be to show your NATO allies your personal letter from George Bush!

Don't delay. Time is running out on George Bush and thousands of Republicans just like him. Send your billion dollar checks to: Save the Christians Federation, Box 1984, U.S. Treasury, Washington, D.C. If you act now, you'll receive a handsome "I helped George Bush" coffee mug, yours to keep.