Volume CCXXXIII, Number 39   November, 2003    Worcester, Massachusetts   Since 1770


Winner of the 2003 Shriver Award for Full Disclosure

Editor's Note: In 233 years, we've covered a lot of wars. Here's a dispatch we treasure from one of America's previous orgies of blood shed in defense of principles, right or wrong.

 

Volume XCV, Number 84   April 1, 1865    Worcester, Massachusetts   Since 1770   Price One Cent

 

 

FROM OUR RICHMOND CORRESPONDENT

 

The Besieged Capital of the Crumbling Confederacy Confronts Disease, Disaster and Starvation

 

Residents Reduced to Roasting Rodents

 

YET CONFEDERATE PRESIDENT JEFFERSON DAVIS STATES WAR IS "PROCEEDING ACCORDING TO PLAN"

 

By Our Special Correspondent

    RICHMOND, Va. – As the mighty Army of the Potomac slowly squeezed the Confederate capital in an embrace of hot lead and cold steel, Richmond residents realized that they had but two choices: surrender or starvation.

    The situation of Gen'l Robert E. Lee's once-proud Army of Northern Virgina has deteriorated from bad to impossible. The Rebels are pinned down in fetid trenches now stretching on the north, east and south sides of Richmond and its sister in abject misery, Petersburg.

    This correspondent, after weeks of fatiguing travel through Kentucky, Tennessee and North Carolina, reached the once-proud capital of the rebellion on the one remaining open rail road line, from Danville and found the city a shambles. Its citizens are ragged and filthy, such that it is often impossible to distinguish the Negro slaves from their formerly proud overseers. The Rebel soldiers lack shoes, clothes, medicine and ammunition, not to mention food. The Union artillery roars overhead incessantly.

    It was thus surprising that, with relatively little difficulty, the Spy was able to secure an interview with the so-called President of the supposed Confederate States of America, now reduced to a besieged city and some patches of rural Virginia and North Carolina.

    Jefferson Davis, who gave up a successful career in the service of his nation to take up arms against it, radiated serenity and optimism in a recent interview, conducted in his study amidst the roar of Union missiles raining down upon Richmond.

    According to Davis, the rebellion is "progressing very satisfactorily, all things considered. While I cannot gainsay that we have faced some obstacles along the way at Antietam, Gettysburg, Vicksburg, Chattanooga and Atlanta, overall the Confederacy is in fine shape."

    Asked about his barefoot soldiery reduced to eating stale peanuts and dried beans, Davis said: "We are still working out a few kinks in our supply chain, that's all. But overall the Confederate soldier is better fed, clothed and armed than he was in 1861."



    Davis lashed out at critics of his leadership including those who criticized the Confederacy's decision to go to war with a richer and more powerful Union. "These critics would have allowed our Southern way of life to have been threatened with extermination by Yankee terror. These tribunes of timorousness would have risked the veritable survival of our great Southern institutions, including the rights of free white men to own property and transport such property freely throughout the states," Davis insisted.

    The Confederate leader stoutly proclaimed that the morale of what was left of his people and his militia was never better. "We have Grant's Army right where we want them. It is much easier to destroy the Union soldier on our own turf than in far-off Pennsylvania. Grant will fall into our hands like overripe fruit," he said, biting into a wormy apple.

    This Correspondent had observed that the Union Army has been immeasurably strengthened by hundreds of thousands of free colored soldiers and camp-followers, who relieve the Army of many tedious duties in the field. By contrast, the slaves of Richmand remain shackled and listless. Davis insisted that the comparison was illusory: "The colored man cannot be a soldier. He lacks courage and intelligence. Mark my words, the colored will be the ruination of Grant's Army," Davis warned.

    Finally, this Correspondent was amazed to see the women of Richmond, once renowned for their grace and beauty, queueing at bakeries and grocers for hours, desperately hoping to bring home a few bits of bread or vegetables. "The women of Richmond are in fine fettle," Davis insisted. "Their complexions are rosy and they enjoy being out in the fresh air. Many of them have told me that they have wanted to lose weight for some time."

    Whereupon, this Correspondent took his leave of Jefferson Davis and returned to the planet earth.

 

 

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WITH GEN'L GRANT'S ARMY

 

Half a Million Union Troops Prepare for the Inevitable Fall of Richmond

 

An Endless Stream of Supplies Reaches Grant's Lines from Union Freighters Plying the James River

 

THE SOLDIERS COMPLAIN: THEY CANNOT ALWAYS GET THEIR FAVORITE BRAND OF WHISKEY AND CIGARS

 

By Another of Our Special Correspondents

    WITH THE UNION ARMY OUTSIDE OF PETERSBURG, Va. – Sources close to General Ulysses S. Grant predict that Richmond's fall is "only a few days away." After a winter or reinforcing and reprovisioning the Armies of the Potomac and James, Grant's staff believes that Richmond and indeed the entire Confederacy will topple with one firm push.

    Sources close to the General stated that Jeff Davis and Robbie Lee "are at the end of their ropes" and with a chuckle look forward to the sight of both men at the end of Union Army supplied ropes.

    Said one Union strategist: "The Rebel Army is reduced to eating and shooting acorns. They won't be able to hold off two Union Armies on their doorstep, much less General Sherman ravaging what was left of the Rebel-held Carolinas."

    Indeed, well-placed Washington sources assert that a special train and steamer have been placed at the ready so that President Abraham Lincoln, the Great Emancipator himself, can tour the captured Confederate capital no more than 24 hours after its inevitable capture.

    The morale of the Union Army, which declined throughout the muddy winter holed up in the Petersburg trenches, is on the rise. The troops are cheered by the arrival of pleasant spring weather and many are already expecting to be back behind their plows in time for planting season.

    At the ports and railheads built by free colored labor under the direction of the Union Army, endless streams of supplies, including cases of beef and hardtack, crates of ammunition, and innumerable rifles and other types of military hardware have been stockpiled for the final assault on Richmond, expected any day.

    Said one senior Union Army general: "It's over, whether old Jeff Davis realizes it or not."






Rumsfeld: Mounting U.S. casualties show we are winning in Iraq, pages 17 through 83
Wolfowitz: Increasing attacks by Iraqi resistance show we are winning in Iraq, pages 84 through 146
Rice: Influx of foreign terrorists into the country shows we are winning in Iraq, pages 147 through 209
Cheney, Rumsfeld agree day is night, pages 210 through 265
B.U.'s Goldin Years: a sumptuous one-page Spy retrospective, page 266
Late sports news: Red Sox seek another middle-aged white mediocrity for manager slot, pages 267 through 331



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