The Massachusetts Spy Volume CCXXXIV, Number 58    December 8, 2004 

best of web joyous xmas edition

The malls are decked with boughs of polystyrene holly and bulimic models on TV imply great things will happen to you if you drop a big rock or the keys to a BMW into their dewy palms.  It must be Christmas. To put a little Christ back into the day, we thought we'd devote a very special edition of Best of the Web to a total immersion into the warm loving waters of Christian web sites. If you don't feel pretty warm after reading these, you must be dead . . . or damned.

Here the founder of Christian Action describes for us his brave struggle against art, international co-operation and . . .Disney World.

Pat's Age-Defying Antioxidants
Learn how you can dramatically lower your risks of cancer, heart attack, and stroke in Pat's Age-Defying Antioxidants booklet.

Register to receive Pat's FREE life-enhancing information that can help build muscles, produce energy and enhance your overall health.
 
Pat Robertson's Age-Defying Pancakes
Guilt-free pancakes? Yes! Try Pat's Age-Defying Protein Pancakes for a breakfast that fights disease, protects your heart and tastes great!
 
You can lose the weight and keep it off. Pat shares his simple plan – you’ll never be hungry and you’ll lose the fat while gaining robust health. Join the CBN.com community and take Pat’s Weight Loss Challenge.

Eleven Arguments Against Same-Sex Marriage (Part 1 of 5)
by Dr. James Dobson

 . . . .Unfortunately, the American people, as a whole, have not yet thought through the consequences and measured the impact of this revolutionary concept. I could list fifty or more legitimate concerns. Let me focus on only eleven:

1. The legalization of homosexual marriage will quickly destroy the traditional family.

We’ve already seen evidence from the Scandinavian countries that de-facto homosexual marriage destroys the real McCoy. .  . .

First, when the State sanctions homosexual relationships and gives them its blessing, the younger generation becomes confused about sexual identity and quickly loses its understanding of lifelong commitments, emotional bonding, sexual purity, the role of children in a family, and from a spiritual perspective, the “sanctity” of marriage. . . .

Second, the introduction of legalized gay marriages will lead inexorably to polygamy and other alternatives to one man/one woman unions. . . .

Why will gay marriage set the table for polygamy? Because there is no place to stop once that Rubicon has been crossed. . . . Given that unstable legal climate, it is certain that some self-possessed judge, somewhere, will soon rule that three men or three women can marry. Or five men and two women. Or four and four. Who will be able to deny them that right? The guarantee is implied, we will be told, by the Constitution. Those who disagree will continue to be seen as hate-mongers and bigots. (Indeed, those charges are already being leveled against Christians who espouse biblical values!) How about group marriage, or marriage between cousins, or marriage between daddies and little girls? How about marriage between a man and his donkey? Anything allegedly linked to “civil rights” will be doable. The legal underpinnings for marriage will have been destroyed.

There's so much more if you really want: click here.


King David tells us the foundations of God are righteousness and justice.  (Psalm 89:14)  Today, one can hardly pick up a newspaper or turn on a television set without seeing righteousness and justice under attack in America.  And if one looked closely enough, he or she would also see these foundations beginning to crack and crumble.

If they fall, what can the righteous do?  King David doesn’t offer any answers.  Instead, his exhortation is clearly preventive:  Don’t let the foundations be destroyed.>

But is it too late for America?>

I’m being tested. You are being tested. Will you run? Or will you stand and fight? Will you help uphold the foundations of God? Or will you flee to the mountains as a bird.

I was in the front-seat to watch the foundations of God being destroyed -- abortion, homosexuality, feminism, the relentless attacks on religious freedom, infanticide, free-wheeling divorce, the secularization of America, and more.

My writing and investigative skills soon caught the attention of Dr. Jerry Falwell, and I was invited to be the editor of his Moral Majority Report. . . .

I would eventually become...unemployed. But I had $75, a computer, a printer and a basement.  And with those meager funds and resources I founded the Christian Action Network in May of 1990. And by that time, I had two more lovely mouths to feed, Amber and Shannon. Those early days certainly were a humble beginning.  But the mystery of CAN soon caught on with friends and supporters and we grew into an organization that now enjoys 250,000 members. . . .

Many Christians know of our organization through our efforts to abolish the National Endowment for the Arts.  We came close.  And the NEA will never rise to the public stature and financing it once enjoyed.

I also went to Orlando, Florida to expose Gay Days at Walt Disney World. Several times my executive director, Phillip Vaught, and I went undercover with video camera in hand to film the disgusting perversion that takes place at America’s number-one family theme park. . . .

Many others have known CAN through our efforts to battle the United Nations with my special project called, This Nation. Besides exposing the United Nations in a documentary video and many informative pamphlets, I have taken our battles straight to the U.N. headquarters in New York City. The United Nations agreed to accept our citizen petitions, but when I arrived they literally picked me up, drug me down their concrete steps, threw me out of their gate, and had me arrested.

Without question, the United Nations fears American citizens and those who protest their unfettered quest for global domination.

Lest you think that the Christian right is nothing but intolerance, xenophobia and malicious falsehood, here comes our prophet Pat Robertson to spread the good news about . . . anti-aging pancakes. Hey, it works for him. That and prayer. And maybe some Botox. Thank you Jesus! And Merry Christmas to all . . . white married heterosexuals!

Gee, it never occurred to us that we were one step away from the marriage of one woman and one donkey (although come to think of it, we've been to a few weddings like that).

 

THIS CAN'T BE WHAT THE DEMOCRATS MEANT WHEN THEY SAID THEY WANTED TO APPEAL TO RED AMERICA

Vote your vagina!

June 10, 2004  |  Playwright Eve Ensler was in New York on Monday night. And you know what that means.

Yup. The vaginas were flying. . . .

Ensler took the stage and thanked all the "fierce, incredible vagina warriors here tonight. I feel like we are about to take off in this big vagina plane." (I wondered briefly: If a vagina were a plane, where would the wings be?) Ensler admitted that she had failed to vote in several elections, but that at some point she realized that "the only vote I could ever really wrap myself around was the vagina vote." It could only be her natural timidity that prevented Ensler from saying "wrap my vagina around." . . .

On Sept. 13, there will be an official kickoff for V-Day (the voting with your vagina thing, not the Valentine's thing), with a big concert that Ensler referred to as "vaginas vote, chicks rock." (How would a vagina vote in a polling booth without a lever? Does it have anything to do with hanging chads?)  [Let's not go there – Ed.] At the event, Jane Fonda, Susan Sarandon and Jesse Jackson will all be celebrating their enfranchised vaginas. Or whatever. . . .

Ensler concluded by affirming that V-Day was created to "encourage all young women to step forward and speak with their hearts and their vaginas."

My vagina just doesn't know what to say.   [That's OK – we like good listeners, too. – Ed.]

–  Salon.com, June 10, 2004.