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Volume CCXXXV, Number 82   June 21, 2005 

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He's back and now he's mad

HOMEWRECKER
STRIKES AGAIN

By Bobby Baker
Congressional Correspondent with
Henry Cabot Lodge
Diplomatic Correspondent

WASHINGTON, D.C. – You remember Clinton impeachment lothario [Surely, impresario? – Ed.] Henry "Homewrecker" Hyde (R – John Birch)?  The silver-haired four-flusher who piously sought to remove a duly elected President of the United States for lying about extramarital sex?

As it turned out, ol' Homewrecker had known whereof he spoke: years earlier, he had concealed a tawdry extramarital affair. Or, in the mock prosecutorial language favored by Clinton's hellhounds, he lied.

Well, he's back and he's up to his old tricks. Not content to bust up his heterosexual marriage, which, as all good Republicans know, is a sacred institution that must be preserved at all costs, unless you're a Republican chasing after tail, he's now attempting to break up the international community's effort at housekeeping: the United Nations.

Yep, ol' Homewrecker wants to do to the UN what he did to his first wife [Surely, marriage? – Ed.]. Henry has persuaded 221 of his fellow nitwits to back legislation that requires the U.S. to violate its treaty obligations and withhold half its UN dues until the institution remakes itself to Henry's personal satisfaction – and we all know how important satisfaction is to Henry.

For those who have forgotten their recent history, which is pretty much all of you, here's what Salon had to say about Henry's extramarital adventures in 1998:

House Judiciary Committee chairman Henry Hyde's former lover charged that he lied in his public statement about his affair with her. On Wednesday Hyde told Salon that the extramarital relationship ended when the woman's husband, Fred Snodgrass, confronted Hyde's wife, five years after the affair began. But Thursday Hyde's former lover, Cherie Soskin, now 62 and a resident of San Antonio, Texas, challenged Hyde's account. According to her grown daughter, Soskin said the affair continued for at least two and a half years after Hyde's wife, Jeanne, was told of the relationship.

"My mother is very mad about Henry Hyde's statement -- she thinks it belittles the importance of their relationship," said her daughter, who asked that her name not be published because of the media firestorm surrounding the story. "Hyde called it a 'youthful indiscretion,' like it was just a fling or something. What a laugh. My mother said it was a long-term relationship."

Hyde was 41 years old when his affair with Soskin began in 1965, and by her account was nearly 50 when the sexual relationship finally ended.

The full sordid story can be savored at Salon's archives.

The bill orders the United Nations to implement 46 specific "reforms" within the next two years. If it doesn't, the bill requires the U.S. to violate its obligations under the UN Charter. And the name of this effort at international homewrecking? The always self-effacing adulterer chose to name it after his favorite government institution: himself. Say hello to The Henry J. Hyde United Nations Reform Act.

The Bush Administration has lamely opposed it on the grounds that it interferes with George's imperial prerogatives. More to the point, it's the latest effort by the reactionary Republican right to accomplish their long-held wet dream: "Get the U.S. out of the UN and the UN out of the U.S." Homewrecker Hyde wants to build on the success of yours truly and a Republican Senate in keeping the U.S. out of the old League of Nations. Look how well that worked out! Now a new generation of xenophobes want to put the UN in one of two places of their choosing: out of town or under the thumb of Republican hacks.

Not that some of the specific ideas aren't worthwhile: An independent ethics board. Limitations on immunity for international criminals. Less spending on government propaganda. Protections for whistle-blowers. A crackdown on corruption. Perhaps Homewrecker and his fellow travelers might want to try out some of these reforms right here in the good old U.S. of A.

If you believe that will happen, then you'll believe it when Homewrecker Hyde tells you he never laid a hand on her.